Choosy moms choose Jif ...

... because the competition contains salmonella. Ew.

Funny story - I was sitting at my desk this morning munching on a banana and adding little swipes of peanut butter to each bite for added flavor. My co-worker Stephanie walks in and says something like, "Good morning! Oh, did you check to make sure that's not the kind of peanut butter that got recalled today for containing salmonella?"

"Um, what?" I said. Only it came out more like, "Uhhhh, whaaa?" because my mouth was full of sticky pb.

So we went to USAToday.com, where sure enough, there's a headline on the front page warning of the recall. But what are the chances that it's the same brand AND batch that I've got in my mouth, right? I begin to scan the story:

"The Food and Drug Administration (FDA) announced Wednesday night that jars of Peter Pan and Wal-Mart's Great Value brand peanut butter beginning with the product code "2111" on the lid of the jar could be contaminated with the strain Salmonella Tennessee..."

I checked the lid of my Peter Pan jar and literally gasped. "2111..." I do believe a look of pure horror seeped into my face, not just because I'd had some of the death butter with my banana that morning, but because half the jar was already gone.

But I didn't just feel scared. I felt angry. Duped. But not as angry and duped as when I stubbed my toe on my bathroom door, and then actually verbally apologized to the door without thinking. The anger set in when I began to feel the pain of stubbing your toe, and although I directed my anger at the door, the root of it was really more from A)me running into the door, and B)me saying "oops, I'm sorry!" to a WOODEN DOOR. It happens, though. That was last week and we've since reconciled.

Anyways ...

When I got home tonight I checked my cupboard for the other jar I had, which, to my surprise, was also of the salmonella type. Mmmm, yummy. This one was 3/4 gone. If I'm not around in a week or so, someone please sue Peter Pan for me.

I have one more thing to say about this "situation," if you will. The strain is called "Salmonella Tennessee." What? Why? Who named it that, and what sort of insult is that to Tennessee-ans? It's like the FDA is saying, "This one's bad. Real bad. Yes, I would say this diarrhea-inducing, vomit-wielding, possibly deadly strain of salmonella is comparable to the nasty effects of the state of Tennessee. " I think that's just a little harsh. I've been to Nashville, and it's pretty neat.