When Good Things Happen to Good People

Wow, it's been a while. I have so many pointless, random, and annoying things to say; I hardly know where to begin. Prepare yourself, this one might be a doozy. For organizational purposes, I have written a tabloid-style headline to go with each bit of nothing.

We'll kick this one off with shock value.
NUMBER OF EARLY MARRIAGES SHOCKS, FRIGHTENS GIRL
I'm no statistical analyst, but I did happen to go through my Facebook friend list counting how many of my friends are either engaged or married. You wanna know how many? Sure you do. 54. Did your jaw drop, too? 54!!!!! I am 23. If I were, you know, 30, that might seem more accurate. And it doesn't even include friends of mine who aren't on Facebook. I have nothing against getting married in your early 20s, if you're really ready for it -- and whether or not you're ready for it is a whole different issue than this. But what I'm getting at here, I guess, is that it doesn't seem all that long ago when us girls were like "OMG, let's ALL call Jimmy TOGETHER, because we all openly have a crush on the same guy and that's cool," and boys were like, "Hey, I'm gonna snap your bra strap because I don't understand this warm feeling creeping all over me."

Now, apparently, we have moved way past that. I hope. But sometimes it's not all that much better. The communal crushing on one boy at this age certainly does not result in a giddy group phone call, but rather backstabbing and mayhaps some hair pulling. And snap my bra? You might just get slapped.

Let's move on.

GHOST OF PETER PAN PAST REAPPEARS; FRIGHTENS GIRL
You may recall my entry about my brush with death via Peter Pan. I'll recap: I had not one, but two half eaten jars of the recalled, contaminated batch in my possession. I did not die, or even get sick, but I'm convinced that had I opened the THIRD one I found in the back of the cupboard recently, I would have bit the dust. Third time's a charm! Luckily, after I hid it in Ben's bed, he made sure to Sharpie the thing to death with warnings such as "(poison)", "120% more death", and, of course, a skull and cross-bones.

MUSIC BLASTS FROM BLOWN SPEAKERS IN DILAPIDATED 1995 TAURUS ONCE AGAIN
To know the long, depressing adolescence of my now 13-year-old car, Treasure, click here. I'm happy to announce that this is not a depressing story. My Treasure is alive again! After his CD player's faceplate was stolen last year, I found another exactly like it on E-Bay. I snapped it into place, only to find the volume didn't work. Correction: The volume-UP did not work. I could, however, turn it down. This, for those of you who are missing a few puzzle pieces, presents a problem, because when the volume can only go down, and you accidentally turn it down because someone calls you on your cellular telephone, you can never, ever turn it up again. That volume is lost forever.
4 months later...
After a long winter with no music in my car, I decided to stop denying that I'd yet again been screwed out of musical accompaniment to my daily cruisings. I went crawling back to E-Bay, Visa in hand. There it was, the JVC K-S260 (or something) CD player faceplate. I paid for it a third time and crossed my fingers that this one would work. Thank the Lord it did, or E-Bay may have witnessed its most outraged customer review yet. So now Treasure has music again. Life is much, much easier. The only thing I wish I could stop thinking about is the great possibility that I just gave $40 to the same prick who stole the faceplate to make a quick buck in the first place.

INSPIRATIONAL PANELS INSPIRE GIRL TO BE INSPIRED MORE OFTEN
Let's get the serious stuff out of the way. As of late I've felt really inspired (although not inspired in a way that motivates me to clean up all my crap around the apartment -- sorry, Ben! But I'm doing that this weekend, promise). What's been inspiring, you ask? Well, I recently wrote about GESET, which was very cool. Also happening that week, all week long, was the Conference on World Affairs (CWA), which up until I graduated I liked to refer to as "Conference on Ditch Whatever Classes I Don't Have to go to and Instead Attend Panels Because I'm a Huge Nerd and I Love It." I even take notes sometimes. Why would I love going to this type of grown-up crap? Because the other grown-up panelists are usually either just the type of grown-up I someday want to be, or they are the complete opposite. That makes for great discussion. Here are the panels I attended this year, which were much fewer than normal because part of that growing up process involves not ditching work:
-Mentoring
-Elevator to Space
-Entrepreneurship: No Guts, No Glory
-Entertainment Makes the World Go 'Round
-Female Entrepreneurs: You Go, Girls!
-China and India: Playing by Their Own Rules
-Infosnacking and Infobinging: A Guide to Being Well-Informed

Beyond The CWA and GESET, last week I found myself standing right next to none other than Kathy Sierra, who has recently splashed the blogosphere and national news mediums with her experience with blog harassment and victimization. A couple nights ago I saw Kofi Annan speak, and last weekend I hung out with the Unsinkable Molly Brown's great-granddaughter because she was staying at Andy's mom's house. Basically, I notice that I feel much more positive and full of potential when I'm surrounded by these opportunities and people. The question is, how do I maintain it once its gone? Or, how do we continually find and take these opportunities?

p.s. Alec Baldwin - what a jerk.

Jump, squishy man! Just JUMP!

Try, just TRY to jump this squishy green man across the keyboard. It is way addicting! I got to level 28 (0f 52) before throwing in the towel ... for now.
http://www.jellyjumper.com/lang/en/

The goal is to get the back.

What do you do when over 800 middle school girls condensed into one giant room are screaming at the top of their lungs and JUST WON'T STOP?

Join in, of course.

I attended GESET this Tuesday. "Girls Exploring Science, Engineering and Technology," a one-day, once-a-year event at the Denver Convention Center that gathers hundreds of gossipy, hyper young teenagers and attempts to pique their interest in, you guessed it, "science, engineering and technology." Or, as many like to call it --- "boy's stuff."

The girls got to attend workshops that ranged from the actual dissection of a sheep's heart to virtual dissection of a former death-row inmate cadaver. There were workshops in which they programmed their own video game and then got to take it home to play, workshops that introduced them to architecture, electrical circuitry, astronomy (complete with Starlab experience!)... the list goes on. Each workshop I snuck a peak at (and I did so to several), was awesome. The girls were enraptured. The workshop leaders were excited and passionate. This is just the kind of encouragement girls need to pursue something in which they don't always feel, for whatever reason, qualified or included.

The day kicked off with, of course, a greeting from the bigwigs sponsoring the event and a couple others. Three people spoke, each with different approaches to maintaining the attention of the girl-mob at the tables in front of them. And I, standing in the back, had the interesting opportunity to see what worked ... and what did not. I'm going to briefly go over them here, because for any of you public speakers out there who didn't already know, the goal of a good speech is to get the back -- those of us who are constantly bombarded with distractions: opening and closing doors, workers running back and forth, audience members coming for refills on water. They all make it difficult to pay close attention to what you're saying. But if what you're saying is something that draws me, all those annoyances will be zoned out, because I'll be watching you. This situation is ideal, because who are we kidding here? 800 adolescents is the ultimate test in public speaking.

1)Speaker number one chose a sad route. Her words, although I'm sure she was obligated to do this, focused on thanking the sponsors, and then relating them to "doing great things for girls like you," blah blah blah. The girls in the back: didn't hear a pinch of it, not because they couldn't hear, but because they found nothing worth hearing.

2)Speaker number two was also disappointing. She was a freshman in college, no doubt chosen to speak because of some affiliation with the GESET planning commity. She announced that in the 8 months she's been in college, she's changed her major 9 times. Really? Because that seems ridiculous and highly unlikely. But the girls in the audience probably wouldn't realize that. Either way, why this girl, over, say, any one of the people giving the workshop, or even just any girl who was actually dedicated to a field in the sciences or technology, would have been a better person to stick up there. The girls in the back: unimpressed and inattentive.

3)Speaker number three. Ahh, yes. This woman has worked with teenagers. The first thing she did was have everyone stand up, just for the sake of letting them know that this was different -- she was different. It was lame, but it worked. After that little exercise she asked how the girls were doing. We've all witnessed this before. The enthused speaker tries to get everyone all pumped up. "Hey! How's everyone doing here today? Are you ready to have fun?? ... I said, 'ARE YOU READY TO HAVE FUN TODAY!?!?!" Crowd goes wild. Works every time.
Next she gave the "we need you" spiel. Not the spiel that just points and yells, but the kind that makes a girl really understand it. Tech industries, sciences -- they DO need girls, and girls need to know it. As my boss always says, "We'll never know what we're missing without more women participating in information technology. We can't measure absence."
Speaker number three then asked a series of questions:
"Who here wants to someday work at a job that helps people figure out their biggest problems?"
"Who here wants to someday work at a job that handles something that affects everyone in the world?"
"Who here wants to someday work at a job that pays really, really well?"

Well, gosh, this lady wins. What middle schooler isn't going to raise their hands to any one of those? And saving the 'who wants to be a money-bags' one for last was perfect on her part.
Needless to say, the girls in the back: Went for it. Completely. Hands clapping, hootin' and hollerin', ready to jump into a day full of learning -- all because someone pitched it in all the right ways.

"The only way to build a skill -- whether it's academic, athletic, or social -- is by practice and repetition. Similarly, our perceptions get reinforced by the repetition of the role models before us. If girls don't see ‘people like me’ in science, math, and technology, they're going to get the message that they don't belong."

-Fred Gluck, former software developer and manager at Bell Labs

Secret Circus - Go while you can.

Performing for the last time in Boulder tonight -- Secret Circus!
Reasons you should go:

1. It's free
2. Features Dave Burdick, local 23-year-old comedian who is packing up and moving to New York to pursue the dream full-time. He was the cover feature in the Boulder Weekly this week, and I've seen him at other Secret Circus shows. Funny, funny guy, although awkward at times ... :)
3. I'll be there (and I miss you. Hug.)

When: Friday, April 6th, 8:00pm
Where: University of Colorado, Boulder -- Old Main
How: By bike, bus, car or ultralite. You could walk, too.
Perks: Free juice and cookies at intermission. Good cookies. Capri Sun. Totally worth the free-ness. Also, it's a funny, inappropriate, and more importantly, free show.

I feel more hate mail coming on ...

*** After several messages referencing my ill-knowledge on the subject of "Emo," I would like to clarify that, after listening to you and doing a bit of research, I've come to understand that the term "Emo" isn't what I was going for here. So, if you will, kindly replace in your mind every "emo" in this entry with the word "scene." Gracias.

I've tried so hard to refrain from writing this post. In fact, I've debated it in my head: "Gosh, I don't want to hurt their feelings. They seem so fragile, after all..." But today I saw yet another forlorn-looking boy, and I thought maybe if someone brought him a glimmer of hope, he just might make it out okay. So, here goes...

Dear Emo kid,

Hey, what's up? (Do you even say that anymore? Or is it more something along the lines of "What's down, dude? How's your sunken soul?"). I'm writing in regards to your lifestyle choice, which, contrary to what you may think is your lot in life -- is most definitely a choice. And a strange, sad one. I wouldn't write, except I think that just about everyone who isn't in your generation is wondering the same thing I am: Why?

When I first heard the term "Emo," I was curious. What is this - some Elmo off-shoot? Are the kids dressing up as Sesame Street characters nowadays? No, certainly not, no. But what you are dressing up as is that tired, worn black sock shoved to the back of the drawer -- the one that never has the pleasure of being placed on happy, dancing feet because its partner fell behind the dryer, forever lost in a dark, linty place where old socks go to die.

Emo kid, let me just tell you what you've probably heard from your parents a million times. You will look back on photos from this period of your life 10 years from now and say, "GOD, what was I thinking?!" You will, really. I do that today, in fact. I'm still perplexed as to what I thought was so cool about my wide-leg (I'm talking truckload-wide) low-hanging jeans and my collection of baby tees sporting incredible phrases like "as if!" and "whatever." Not to mention the giant yellow smiley faces... {cringe}.

Anyways, what I want to say here is that I'm not too worried about you ... yet. We all go through ridiculous phases of not just fashion, but of taking on new personas. Are you really that drab? So sad and drained inside? Or did you, like I did, run around on playgrounds and get excited over things like lollipops and gumdrops? (Okay, who cares about gumdrops.) But really, think about it. Let yourself smile, okay? Mayhaps you're so upset at the world because you can only see out of one eye. Simple solution! Brush away that wad of flat hair that hangs in your face. Or if you're feeling suffocated by this depressing world, reconsider the source. It might be as easy as buying some jeans that aren't made for Barbie dolls from 1980. You'll find this makes the breathing process much more effective.

And really, the whining thing, the "no one understands me so I'm going to talk in this tonally void way" -- that has got to go.

BFF,

Debbie

Owwww!

I got shampoo in my eye this morning, and what bothered me more than it hurting like thousands of little cacti needles gently probing my eyeball was the fact that I still get shampoo in my eyes at 23.

I may have to revert back to that Johnson & Johnson tear-free stuff. You know, the yellow kind.