The Red Light Special is Only $100

February is a bad, bad month for my 1995 Ford Taurus, as evidenced by last year's hit and run and windshield bashing and this accident four years ago. This year is no exception, which I discovered when I received by mail today this photo of me blatantly running a red light. Yep. You caught me, technology.

This feels a little like when you go on one of the "Xtreme" rides at an amusement park and they take your picture and try to sell it to you for egregious amounts of money. Only in this scenario, the ride is only extreme because you're voluntarily defying oncoming traffic in an attempt to get 20 feet ahead before you have to stop again for the next red light. Also, it's much more costly. This particular photo is $100 of amusement park fun!

Here's where I must declare my dissatisfaction with Chicago's growing camera enforcement program. Why? Because it destroys the very essence that makes Chicago driving -- nay -- Chicago CULTURE, what it is. You see, I'm not exaggerating when I say that at any given intersection in Chicago, when the light turns red you will see three- to five more vehicles slip on through. It's just what our fast-paced, angry, concrete-dwelling Chicagoan hearts do. We can't help it, see?

This photo, besides calling out the sincerity of my Chicagoan pride, what does it say? It sends this message, this awful, denigrating message that things are changing 'round here. That yes, even in this windy, crooked city someone out there thinks we can all become regular, law-abiding citizens. And they have taken it to the roads.

{siiiigh}

Ironically, I bought a bike today. Let's see your cameras catch my Schwinn, Chicago Dept. of Revenue! Well, I've paid my $100. My car, Treasure, should be good to go until next February (although March has also brought on its share of disaster), and if I can be grateful for one thing about Chicago's changing front on this Ash Wednesday, it is this: Maybe soon I'll be able to put ketchup on my hot dog and not receive death glares.